Dealing with the doubt, fear and limitations that bog others down in their own life is one thing that all successful people must face at some time or another. It cannot be avoided, but is nothing to be deterred by, because it is natural. This is simply dealing with the naysayers. The haters. The doubters.
Ponder this analogy:
You’re the driver of your life, body and mind. You’re the one controlling where you go. You pick where you want to go, how fast, on which paths, who’s in your car, etc. You have complete dominion over the way you choose to operate this vehicle.
Now answer this:
Why would you ever pick up naysayers to ride along with you, that are constantly backseat driving? Even if they’re not telling you what to do, why would you let people in your car tell you that you can’t go somewhere, that it’s impossible?
Hopefully you wouldn’t.
Yet and still, people constantly let the limiting beliefs and negative comments of a naysayer drag them down. It doesn’t make much sense as to why some third party person who’s not involved in your life, in your car, would be granted the power to drag you down.
It happens all the time when people are looking to do something creative or strike out on their own, and there seems to always be someone who likes to highlight all the reasons it can’t be done.
You must ignore naysayers at all costs.
Don’t even entertain their garbage for one second. How do you tell the difference between a naysayer and someone more experienced who is trying to steer you in the right direction?
Look at these key differences. Careful not to be young and foolish. Not everyone is a hater.
- Will laugh at your ideas
- Will list off reasons that would never work
- Will discourage you to try something different, outside the norm
- Will not understand how you’re going to achieve it, therefore deem it impossible
- Will hang out with other naysayers that will bring you down too
- Will tell you ways you could start more efficiently
- Will give you a positive boost to get started
- Will understand reasons why you’re doing something different
- Will generally be kind in demeanor
- Will turn you on to helpful resources/suggest books to read
Be careful to know the difference between the two, and not write off people who are trying to help, even if they do so with a bit of tough love.
There is no reason to heed negative comments, because they are headwinds to where you’re trying to drive. You want these people behind you, giving you fuel, pushing you from behind and creating tailwinds instead. This is far more powerful and efficient.
How to Know Who to Listen To With Life Advice
When deciding to do something that is new or confusing to those around you, expect to get some resistance. Just choose whose opinion carries weight.
If you get negative resistance from your grandpa who has never gone into business for himself, yet tells you why you can’t make yours work, disregard.
If your self-made multi-millionaire neighbor tells you that you should be careful whom you hang around if you’d like to be successful, peep the wisdom.
If your mom, who’s on unemployment and food stamps, tells you that the economy is bad and no one is making money, disregard.
You must weigh these opinions in your head, disregard and filter the pointless ones, and move forward with all your might.
Personally, I use a little rule of thumb. If I’d like to trade places or emulate the person giving advice (at least on the topic they’re giving it), then I listen. If I would not want their results, I don’t usually listen, or I listen to what not to do.
At either cost, listening to naysayers will dilute the potency of your potential.
Nothing great was accomplished by walking on eggshells trying not to offend the people around you. Especially the naysayers. Oftentimes when people around you see what you’re doing, and especially once you start succeeding, they feel inadequate. That’s okay. That should just present an interesting challenge for them to decide how they want to improve.
Branching Out Into the Unknown… By Yourself (and Hearing the Backlash)
This rings especially true when you’re branching out into uncharted territory that people aren’t widely familiar with.
Just remember that this has been the case for anyone who tried a new endeavor back before it was so familiar. Look at the Internet. Sending a man to space. World travel by sea. Invention of the light bulb. Creation of airplanes.
Only you can decide if the path is right, by following your gut, weighing the risk, and taking appropriate action.
Look at any great person in history, and you can witness certain turning points and important mind shifts that they made along the road. Most all of them were faced with adversity the moment they wanted to start.
People are simply scared of the unknown, what they won’t try on their own, and what is against the ordinary. They project their fears onto you about what you’re trying, because they are fearful of it themselves.
Thomas Edison, the father of over 1000 patents, was told he was stupid when he was in school, and wouldn’t amount to anything. Did he listen to naysayers? Nope.
Oprah was told she was never going to make it into show business. Did she listen to naysayers? Nope. She’s now worth over 3 billion dollars and has one of the most popular TV shows on earth.
Decca records shut down the Beatles, saying that guitar music was a thing of the past. Did they listen to naysayers? Nope.
Far more examples like this exist and now they look simply ridiculous. These examples are how you are going to get extra motivation to prove these people who talk down as well.
That’s not the main goal; just a side effect of showing others what can be accomplished. It has to do with setting the stage. Succeed so big that they cannot ignore what you’ve done, and they will regret what they said to you years earlier.
– Frank Sinatra
Only you know what you’re capable of and what your full potential level is. Don’t ever let other people decide that for you, because it’s not up to them. They don’t have to live in your shoes, so they can say whatever they want to you and it does not affect them. These people don’t have to live with the results that you choose to accept from their naysaying.
The solution? Don’t let it creep in your mind. You’re worth far more than letting someone come in and destroy what you know is possible to create. No matter how long it takes, no matter what you have to set aside, no matter what you have to do, always keep pushing forward and blast past any limitations set for you by other people.
Prove naysayers wrong, but more importantly prove yourself right.
Prove that you can do it first.
Prove to you that you can do anything you set your mind to.