The Ultimate Formula For Getting Unstuck: A Delicate Balancing Act

Something detrimental to your forward motion is taking five steps forward, then taking five steps back…

You make some progress, earn some money, and then step right back into dissing or downplaying your own accomplishments.

Why do you do this? What good does it do?

Absolutely none.

How can you stop and find the way to get “unstuck”?

Well friends, contained in this piece of actionable content are the answers you seek. The reason I can specifically help you with this issue is that it has been a huge sticking point for me in the past.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your life, wondering why sometimes you make progress and sometimes you slide backwards, here is the reason:

You’re too mentally inside your destination, and not enough in your journey.

You want your destination so bad that you are not paying enough attention to the journey that’s inevitably required.

Doing this is an efficient stick-up robbery of your happiness. 

You’re voluntarily giving happiness away and pushing off satisfaction until some random undefined future point. Or perhaps, it’s a crystal clear goal that you want achieved, but when you reach it, you’re unhappy again.

Now, some of this can be extremely helpful in small doses. Delaying gratification and hustling on your big, main, chosen purpose is healthy.

Delaying gratification is helpful when you keep your goals in front of you, you focus on what you need to do, and put off some indulgence until you’re really killing it in business and life.

This is healthy. However, destroying or deprecating your achievements, and everything that’s made you who you are is not. Your progression is the physical manifestation of your betterment. It’s a day in, day out process; enjoy it!

The Creative View for Future Goals & Past Achievements

When you look at your past achievements, what emotions come up? What runs through your head?

This is important to pay attention to. Here are a few options you might experience:

  1. You’re happy with what you’ve achieved, but you’re always looking to improve
  2. You never think what you’ve done is enough, and you always need that next hit (success/goal)
  3. You don’t think what you’ve done is enough, because you haven’t done anything yet

The first is ideal. It’s a pretty creative view on improving yourself, because you look back fondly on what you’ve built, yet you always strive to beat yourself. Every setback is simply a lesson and you don’t beat yourself up. You simply salvage what you can from every problem. This is the situation in which you can recalibrate towards your goals easily, and be satisfied in the present moment. Easier said than done.

The second is an unhealthy mindset that mimics that of a drug addict. You’re never satisfied until you’re high. You can’t get enough until the next release, which comes in the form of the next goal smashed. But when that goal is completed, there’s always another one on the horizon that you need to hit to be happy.

It never comes. You never get there.

The third is fine, as long as you’re pushing to achieve something great. Gotta start somewhere. Get on the G.R.I.N.D., Get Results Indicative of Necessary Dominance do whatever it takes to get where you’re going. Your priorities lie in creating a vision for where you want to end up, afocusing on what you need to complete and staying 100% consistent with that daily diligence.

The Reality of Happiness & FMC (Forward-Moving Contentment)

Let’s talk about a new paradigm to adopt, that’s a far better control mechanism than being unsatisfied and always needing your next upgrade to be happy.

I call it F.M.C., or Forward-Moving Contentment.

Equivalent to shiny object syndrome, ambitious people can get a sort of shiny-success syndrome. Instead of desiring the newest consumer-target hunk of plastic, they’re in need of the next success, the next goal, and the new mission.

Part of this can be good; as humans, we’re meant to build and create.

This is when we reach our happiest moments, but with mindset #3, if you never get started you will never feel this.

When you have mindset #2, you don’t think you’re creating anything worthwhile until you hit the massive goals you have in mind.

But by taking on mindset #1’s approach, you are happy now and in the future. This is because you can allow yourself to be happy now. You can also allow yourself to enjoy it when the future comes. The future is simply a bunch of todays, and if you can’t enjoy this one, what makes you think you’ll be able to enjoy the next?

Bottom line: things take longer than you expect and entrepreneurship is not as easy as you think.

These are just the roadblocks that keep other people out, and keep up the moat around your business, strengthened with brick and mortar.

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

– Randy Pausch

FMC (Forward-Moving Contentment) states that you are happy right now, because you’re building your dreams one brick at a time. You will not get complacent or comfortable, nor will you rest on your laurels.

This is the biggest fear for many an ambitious soul.

“Oh no! If I pause and admire what I’ve built so far, I might sit back and relax!”

False.

Truly ambitious people never stop. 6-figure earners become millionaires. Millionaires become billionaires. Then when they reach that level, they want to continue.

They’re thankful for what they have, and they’re aligned with where it came from. Getting gratitude dialed is part of increasing abundance.

Be Thankful For The Money You’ve Earned – No Matter Who’s on the Front

 Of course that’s rhetorical, but this is a seriously dangerous trap. Don’t keep chasing the mirage that never seems to materialize with mindset #2. That is, unless you’d like to remain thirsty in the desert forever… 

Do NOT Beat Yourself Up – Be Your Own Ally, Not Your Own Enemy

When in hot pursuit of everything you want in life, keep in mind that the journey is important. It actually builds you up to become the person you need to be, and handle what you’re destined for.

This preparation is especially key when arriving at the opportunities you only dreamed of in the past.

Example – picture you switched places randomly and woke up as a person you admire far ahead of you in life. Would you be ready on a mental, personal, and spiritual level to actually handle their daily tasks and responsibilities?

You don’t get everything you’ve ever wanted all at once, and you definitely don’t get it overnight.

You actually have to evolve into a better human, step by step.

It’s normal; it is the natural progression of things. You must become a different person of a different caliber to match up with the goals you’ve set for yourself, and that takes time.

So never waste that precious energy and time, beating yourself up.

If you never celebrate your successes, but only focus on your failures and how to get better, you degrade your self-esteem and momentum. On the flip side of that, if you celebrate the wins you enjoy, you’re positively building ambition to go out and create more of those wins on a larger scale.

Celebrate Your Successes. Crack A Coconut or Somethin’

Stop chasing it and it comes to you. Want it too bad and you propel it away.

That’s why I say again: tune into the feelings you experience when you think about your goals and progress. Are they positive? Like attracts like and so you do not want to be on the lower frequency of negative thoughts and destruction.

Match up with your higher self, your ideal vision for your life, be content yet demand more, and celebrate your victories, however small they may be.

By patting yourself on the back every now and then, you build self-confidence and discipline. You are ultimately going to build bigger and better kingdoms because you can be thankful and proud of what you’ve toiled over for so long.

It’s completely okay to do this, and if you can’t yet, I give you permission right now to destroy that limitation.

In due time you can allow yourself more and more to release it, and just move past it, because this is one of the biggest hang-ups of all successful people. Everyone’s experienced this on one level or the other.

It just hinges how you approach and surmount it.

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2 Replies to "The Ultimate Formula For Getting Unstuck: A Delicate Balancing Act"

  • Thats some real wisdom, smell the roses or what is the point! I often get ahead of myself and focus on some point in the future where things will be “perfect” of course this is a romanticized idea and when that time comes there is something new.

    Have you ever read How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by any chance? Different context but that book did wonders for teaching me how to live in the moment and appreciate what is at your door step.

    • Alex,

      I was the same way; I used to only focus on everything in the future, seeing things how they would be instead of how they actually were. Through my work, I’ve developed a concept called “FMC” now, that serves me well.

      I love Dale Carnegie and his work, yes. The present moment is all we ever really have, and if we can be here, happy, excited, and still build a better future for ourselves and our kin, that’s where I see the ideal balance.

      Evan

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